Autistic gay guy

Love is a weird thing

The common misconception about autistic people is we don’t feel emotions, which is total bullshit. Many of us, including myself, are probably the most empathetic, non-judgmental people you will ever meet, but that’s another discussion. When it comes to love, autistic people love just as neurotypicals do. The one thing that separates autistics from neurotypicals is many autistic people name as asexual, which means they encounter little to no sexual attraction (also a spectrum of experiences). As a gay man, I do not name this way. Despite old cliches spouted about autistics and sex, I savor sex. It’s a way to show my sexuality with people. I don’t shy away from it.

I would detect myself as aromantic, which is lacking romantic attraction. Growing up on the spectrum, friendships are something that I’ve struggled in maintaining. I’ve gotten surpass at letting my guard down to let people in, and I’ve had my heart broken, but I’ve also found healing in it. Friendships intrigued me more than a partnership. Cherish can be described more than just through romance. Also, I’ve always been a career-oriented person, so the consideration of being in a relationship

I'm gay and autistic. It took me years to understand what I needed in sex and relationships.

I'm autistic, and most people I meet, especially on dates, don't understand what that means.

They point to TV shows love "Atypical" and "The Good Doctor" or to the "socially awkward kid" your parents forced you to befriend. That's not me.

As an autistic person, I've been able to "mask" as neurotypical — somebody who doesn't hold atypical patterns of thoughts or behaviors. But as I've gotten older, I proudly lean into my intersectional identity as a gay and autistic man — even though I have extraordinary intricacies, like needing foreplay when it comes to dating and sex.

When I went to college, I started experimenting with my sexuality 

As a gay man from Temecula, a conservative small town in California, I had very slim options: the other 18-year-old guy who respectfully declined to date me or the 50-year-old married man with two kids under the age of 6. 

I ended up losing my virginity during my first few months of college, with a guy from Grindr who had more experience than me, which made me feel relaxed. It was also amazing, exhilarating, and euphoric.

It felt good to

Being gay

Our autism friendly formats can assist children and young people understand different identities. If you prefer information in a visual way, here you can read our being gay visual story.  

 

The word homosexual originates from both Greek and Latin. The Greek “homos” meaning same and Latin “sexual” referring to sexual acts and affections between members of the equal sex.  

In 2019, an estimated 2.7% of the UK population aged 16 years and over identified as lesbian, gay or bisexual (LGB), an grow from 2.2% from the year before. Though some people feel confident in their sexuality even younger than 16, whilst others are still questioning.  

 

What does being gay mean? 

Being gay traditionally means existence a man who finds other men attractive. This is male homosexuality. But sometimes women who detect the same sex attractive also use this phrase interchangeably with lesbian. According to National Statistics, organism gay and lesbian are the largest group under the LGBT umbrella.  

Like many others, some juvenile people with autism, self-identify as being gay. Entity gay is not a choice. Like autism, there is no scientific evidence for ex


Marina Sarris

Date Revised: June 12, 2024

One sunlight, Riley Smith learned from some former co-workers that an acquaintance had enter out as non-binary. Smith felt gleeful for the acquaintance, but she also felt something else. “Afterward, in the days and weeks that followed, I felt a other emotion that I recognized as envy. It led to me to demand myself increasingly complex questions about who I was.”

Assigned male at birth, Smith eventually came to realize that she is a trans person woman. As an autistic person, she is not alone. A higher percentage of autistic people identify as female homosexual, gay, bisexual, trans person, or queer (LGBTQ) than the general population, according to research studies.1-5 A 2017 Gallup poll found that 4.5 percent of Americans identify as LGBT.

Studies vary widely on the percentage of people with autism who are homosexual, lesbian, or bisexual person. One analysis suggested the rate is 15 to 35 percent among autistic people who execute not have intellectual disability. 2

“Most of the data that we’re seeing is that [the LGB rate] is two to three times higher,” says clinical psychologist Eileen T. Crehan, Ph.D., an